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September 23, 2003
by Daniel Erenberg
I re-watched High Fidelity a couple of weeks ago. In that flick, John Cusack, Jack Black, and a bald dude hash over music with this sense of ferocity and intensity and constantly make top 5 lists about the various topics. This got me to thinking about the Slayage column. People dig lists I think. I know I do. So I'm doing an article entirely comprised of bizarre Joss-related lists. And without further ado, many, many lists.

Top 5 Joss-directed Camera Angles

5. The eerie wide shot of the desert in "Restless"
4. The almost Hitchcockian shot of Buffy carrying the rocket launcher in "Innocence"
3. The voyeuristic shot of Dawn finding out about Joyce's death through the window in "The Body", the camera panning to the painting of negative space.
2. Buffy running across the rooftop in "Chosen"
1. The gun through the glass table in "Restless"

Top 5 Fights

5. The Battle in "Chosen"
4. The War in "Graduation Day Part Two"
3. The first time the gang fights The Beast in "Apocalypse, Nowish"
2. The Buffy/Angel swordfight in "Becoming Part Two"
1. The big Glory blowout at the end of "The Gift"

Top 5 Two-Parters

5. Two To Go/Grave
4. Five By Five/Sanctuary
3. Surprise/Innocence
2. Graduation Day
1. Becoming
Top 5 Characters
5. Rupert Giles
4. Willow Rosenberg
3. Alexander Lavelle Harris
2. Angel
1. Buffy Anne Summers (I know it isn't the popular choice, but she is the most layered character in the history of TV)
Top 5 Villains
5. The Beast
4. Darla + Drusilla
3. The First
2. Angelus
1. The Mayor

Top 5 Worst Things Joss Has Ever Done

5. Brought on Ashanti for "First Date"
4. One Word: Kennedy
3. Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Movie (the final product, not the original script)
2. Waterworld
1. Alien Resurrection

Top 5 Buffy Episode Titles

5. "The Body"
4. "Earshot"
3. "Welcome To The Hellmouth"
2. "Conversations With Dead People"
1. "Lies My Parents Told Me"

Top 5 Character Haircuts

5. Gunn's bald head
4. Spike throughout the show
3. Floppy Xander from season one
2. Willow's hair in season four
1. Buffy's short hair in season six

Top 5 Sexiest Buffy Scenes

5. Dawn making out with the vampire in the car in the otherwise forgettable "All The Way"
4. Willow kissing Xander's ear in "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered"
3. Buffy's trench coat in "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered"
2. The Buffy dance in "When She Was Bad"
1. Spike and Buffy's first time in "Smashed"

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Moments On Buffy

5. Giles finding Jenny's body in "Passion"
4. Buffy's voiceover at the end of "The Gift"
3. Anya's speech in "The Body"
2. Dawn saying, "Where'd she go?" in "The Body"
1. The fake-out Joyce gets better scene in "The Body"

Top 5 Guest Stars

5. Kristine Sutherland
4. Danny Strong
3. Julie Benz
2. Juliet Landau
1. Eliza Dushku

Top 5 Monsters

5. The Gentlemen
4. Clem
3. The Beast
2. Sweet
1. The Host

Top 5 Character-centric Episodes

5. "Selfless"
4. "Conversations With Dead People"
3. "Fool For Love"
2. "Restless"
1. "The Body"

Top 5 Deaths

5. Jesse in "The Harvest"
4. Doyle in "Hero"
3. Tara in "Seeing Red"
2. Anya in "Chosen"
1. Buffy in "The Gift"

Top 5 Most Realistic Emotional Buffy Breakdowns

5. Washing dishes in "Listening To Fear"
4. When she wakes up in "The Weight Of The World"
3. Leaving town at the end of "Becoming Part Two"
2. With Giles at the end of "Innocence"
1. The whole of season six

Top 5 Most Underused Characters

5. Hank Summers
4. Larry
3. Jonathan
2. Doyle
1. Whistler

Top 5 Worst Characters

5. Umm...there aren't 5 bad characters
4. Kate Lockley
3. The Gorch Brothers
2. Rhona
1. Kennedy

Top 5 Buffy Websites Other Than

5. (because it's hard to find genuinely good-natured Buffy sites on the internet and this is an excellent example of one)
4. (for the brilliant episode FAQs)
1. (because I don't want to be fired for plugging other Buffy sites)

And that's that. Thanks for the list ideas. Comment as always. E-mail me.

Daniel Erenberg lives in a gothic-looking house in a suburb of Long Island shrouded by trees and darkness. His backyard is so overrun with shrubbery that he can't plant flowers in the soil. He's penned articles for numerous magazines (and a couple of websites for free). Currently, he's writing his first novel, entitled People That I've Long Since Forgotten. He's also written two plays, Little Room and Dystopia and a screenplay called Youth Or Consequence. He lives a fairly happy life alone except for the mind-numbing loneliness he feels on occasion. If youíre a beautiful woman thatís fallen in love with Daniel, or you just want to talk Buffy with him, you can contact Daniel at
Latest Comments

Top 5 Eps:

1.) Once More With Feeling
2.) Hush
3.) Surprise/Innocence
4.) The Wish
5.) Something Blue

Top 5 Regular Characters:

1.) Willow
2.) Anya
3.) Spike
4.) Giles
5.) Tara

Top 5 Guest Characters:

1.) Drusilla
2.) Glory
3.) Darla
4.) Faith
5.) Harmony

Worst Regular/Guest Characters:

1.) Kennedy
2.) Riley
3.) Adam
4.) Forrest
5.) Dracula

Coolest Finales:

1.) Graduation Day
2.) The Gift
3.) Becoming
4.) Chosen
5.) Restless

Best Make-Up Effects:

1.) John Ritter's peeled back robot face from "Ted"
2.) The Judge from "Surprise/Innocence"
3.) The Gentlemen from "Hush"
4.) Lorne
5.) Fred possessed by Illyria

Best Seasons:

1.) Season 2
2.) Season 6
3.) Season 3
4.) Season 5
5.) Season 4
6.) Season 7
7.) Season 1

Posted by: Lia on March 16, 2004 01:25 PM

saeson 7 i love because spike is so noble and hott,...What? hes always hott
season 6 because of the musical,"Tabula Rasa"very funny and seeing dark willow and oh yeah seeing spike even though spike act a bit twistted.
season 5 for all the tuchin moments+spike
season 4 for the cute episode when buffy and spike wanna get married
season 3 for faith
season 2 cause of angel
season 1 well becaus its the first

Posted by: Linda on December 29, 2003 06:47 PM

Hey, wat i think should be the top 10 eps, i no i no, not top 5, top 10:
5.Fool For Love
4.Once More With Feeling
1.The Gift

Posted by: Matt Ray on December 6, 2003 05:39 PM

best guy characters:
5.oz;very cool
1.Xander; my fav Buffy boy

best girl characters:
4.Anya; crack up- so outright and rude!
3.Willow; she's Willow!
2.Faith; five by five, durr
1.Buffy; again, she's Buffy, there would be no 'Buffy' without her.

seasons: (all of these seasons are better than anything that have ever been on tv.)
7.season 7
6.season 5
5.season 6; once more with feeling
4.season 1
3.season 4
2.season 2
1.season three; the mayor, faith.

Posted by: coca-cola on October 31, 2003 11:34 PM

oh yeah, i'd just like to say i completely agree with janine from, wat was it? sept 25th. season 5 is just THE best season, every ep was amazing. the spyke falling in love with buffy was so good, but they kept it realistic aswell by showing that buffy wasnt in love with him, but then later in the season showing that she could trust him, even if not love him. and joyces death? need i say more? but the thing i luv most about this season is the last 5 episodes, finally buffy comes up with sum1 who also looks like a little blonde woman, but can kik her ass in any fight, not so special now are we? and just the whole running away arc of the season. "pointy knives and a winebego" it was just so original, and tara finally found her tru calling as a retard. plus the gift was the best episode ever, and wat wouldve been a great end to the show. it also had the best main cast ever aswell, willow and xander as always the best friends, anya and spyke, the badasses turned good guy heroes, and dawn and giles, the person buffys responsible for, and the one whos responbsible for buffy. and doc was cool. think thats about it. yep. oh yeah, and does any1 else think its weird that giles got reinstated as buffys watcher in the middle of this season, then in season 6 he just left sayin he wasnt her watcher anymore? even wen she was alive again? stupid writers, they really dont hav a clu.

Posted by: Matt Ray on October 16, 2003 05:38 PM
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