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September 29, 2003
OPINION
Listmania 2: The Secret Of The Ooze
by Daniel Erenberg

Yes, due to insanely popular demand, a sequel to this article has been commissioned and green-lighted (both by me). However, I'd like to begin this sequel (which is sure to be inferior to the original like all sequels are) with a few gripes about people's comments about the first one: two gripes to be exact. And in keeping with the theme of the article, a list will be made.

Top 2 Gripes About People's Comments.

2. Spike on the Best Character List, etc. A lot of Slayage readers were pissed off this week that there wasn't enough Spike on the lists. I assure you that this was unintentional. I love Spike. I think he's a fantastic actor, and I think James Marsters is an excellent actor. In addition to this, I'm rabidly looking forward to this season of Angel. So much do I love Spike that my fourth article for Slayage was a Spike retrospective called "A Little Less Ritual".

1. Jesse on the Deaths List. I put Jesse up there leaving off Spike, Joyce, and Jenny, all wonderful deaths in their own rights. I felt I had to give a mention to Jesse though since he was the first one. And go back and watch the two-hour first episode. Maybe it isn't as poignant as "The Body", "Passion", or "Chosen", but it is surprising (for a first time viewer) and ultimately heart wrenching. Also, Spike's death was somewhat cheapened for me by the knowledge of season five of Angel.

And on with the lists:

Top 5 Sound Effects

5. Acathla opening up in "Becoming Part Two"
4. Gwendolyn Post's lightning bolts in "Revelations"
3. Adam's gun-arm sprouting out in "Primeval"
2. The classic vampire transformation sound
1. Olaf's hammer hitting Glory in "The Gift"

Top 5 Most Improved Characters (From First Appearance To Now)

5. Tara Maclay
4. Harmony Kendall
3. Andrew
2. Charles Gunn
1. Wesley Wyndham-Price

Top 5 Sets

5. Willow and Buffy's Dorm Room
4. The Cemetery
3. The Magic Box
2. The Initiative
1. Sunnydale High School Library

Top 5 Writers Other Than Joss

5. Mere Smith
4. Drew Goddard
3. Jane Espenson
2. Marti Noxon
1. Tim Minear

Top 5 Directors Other Than Joss

5. Nick Marck
4. David Fury
3. Marti Noxon
2. Michael Gersham
1. James A. Contner

Top 5 Musical Scores

5. "Sacrifice", from "The Gift"
4. "Close Your Eyes", from "Becoming Part Two"
3. "Buffy/Riley Love Theme" from "Hush"
2. The Suite From "Restless"
1. The Medley From "Hush"

Top 5 Songs (Not Including Once More With Feeling)

5. "Pain", by Four Star Mary
4. "Wild Horses", by The Sundays
3. "Pavlov's Bell", by Aimee Mann
2. "Full Of Grace", by Sarah Mclachlan
1. "Job's Eyes", by Far

Top 5 Songs That Joss Had A Hand In Writing

5. "The Exposition Song"
4. "Rest In Peace"
3. "Standing"
2. "Under Your Spell"
1. "Where Do We Go From Here"

Top 5 Kisses

5. Gunn and Fred with Wesley looking on in "Waiting In The Wings"
4. Buffy and Riley's silent first kiss in "Hush"
3. Buffy and Spike at the end of "Smashed"
2. Buffy and Angel's "final" kiss in "Becoming Part Two"
1. Willow and Tara's tour de force in "The Body"

Top 5 Accents (I'm from New York so...English included)

5. Kendra's...uh...something
4. Giles's Actual British Accent
3. Fred's southern accent
2. Doyle's Irish accent
1. Spike's flawless British accent

Top 5 Vehicles

5. The Watcher's Council Helicopter
4. Spike's DeSoto
3. Giles's Awful Car
2. Oz's Van
1. The Angel Mobile

Top 5 Worst Episode Titles

5. "Inca Mummy Girl"
4. "Doublemeat Palace"
3. "Witch"
2. "Buffy Vs. Dracula"
1. "Beer Bad"

Top 5 Anticlimactic Episode Endings (Not including Finales)

5. "Go Fish" (lots of giant killer fish roaming the ocean)
4. "Phases" (um...Oz is a werewolf and Willow isn't...good thing they dealt with it in "Wild At Heart")
3. "Normal Again" (Was it a dream?˜yea? Nay?)
2. "Out Of Mind, Out Of Sight" (the invisible assassin school)
1. "Teacher's Pet" (the hatching eggs)

Top 5 Holiday-Themed Episodes (including Birthdays)

5. "Birthday"
4. "Helpless"
3. "Amends"
2. "Halloween"
1. "Innocence"

Top 5 Cross-Show Guest Spots

5. Buffy in "I Will Remember You"
4. Angel in "Chosen"
3. Spike in "In The Dark"
2. Willow in "Orpheus"
1. Faith in "Five By Five/Sanctuary"

OK. I hope you like it, though I'm positive that there will be the inevitable naysayers returning to shoot me in the gut. Let me guess: not enough Angel for you this week? Wait until next week.

Daniel Erenberg lives in a gothic-looking house in a suburb of Long Island shrouded by trees and darkness. His backyard is so overrun with shrubbery that he can't plant flowers in the soil. He's penned articles for numerous magazines (and a couple of websites for free). Currently, he's writing his first novel, entitled People That I've Long Since Forgotten. He's also written two plays, Little Room and Dystopia and a screenplay called Youth Or Consequence. He lives a fairly happy life alone except for the mind-numbing loneliness he feels on occasion. If youíre a beautiful woman thatís fallen in love with Daniel, or you just want to talk Buffy with him, you can contact Daniel at daniel@slayage.com.
Latest Comments

I love all these lists!! I can't come up with one myself, because I love everything!!

But keep the lists coming!!

Posted by: Liz on May 8, 2004 07:27 PM

Hey, wat i think should be the top 10 eps, i no i no, not top 5, top 10:
10.Choices
9.Enemies
8.Intervention
7.Spyral
6.Selfless
5.Fool For Love
4.Once More With Feeling
3.Becoming
2.Chosen
1.The Gift

Posted by: Matt Ray on December 6, 2003 05:37 PM

about alexis denisof--
he was born in the US and then lived in britain for sum time... that's why his accent is so good

about james marsters--
his accent is sumtimes kinda believable-except wen he's he's tryin to swear n cuss. i cracked up wen i heard him say 'poofta/poofter'... it sounded like POO-OOF-TAH..
the best was in Tabula Rasa: "You Englishmen are always so... Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!"

Tony Head's accent is probly the best outta all of 'em, but ya gotta rememba that there are different kinds of english accents-- there's the formal/poshy accent n then there's the informal/wot the hell are u saying to me accent.

Posted by: stef on November 30, 2003 03:05 AM

just a slight gripe. now i love spike to bits and james marsters does british very well but to describe his accent as flawless is a little too much. two examples from a rather pedantic brit.
1. he frequntly pronounces poof with an ooo sound, which is wrong i cant think of a way to spell the true pronunciation phoneticly but trust me he hasn't found it yet.
2.in episode 2 season 4 he uses the american pronunciation of france i.e. fraanse instead of the english frarnse.
condecending imperialist rant over, please continue.

Posted by: fudgemonkey on November 28, 2003 06:44 PM

Hey Matt Ray. I liked Buffy versus Dracula as well. Yes, it did show Riley didn't have what it took to keep Buffy. The confrontation he had with Spike in his crypt trying to get information on the count. Spike told him you won't get to her, not before he does. No kidding. Also, this is the episode that we got our first inkling of where the slayer's power came from. Rooted in darkness. We find out one season later Dracula was right.
He should know.

Posted by: Janine on October 20, 2003 08:45 PM
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