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Joss Whedon answers 100 questions - SFX Magazine
1. How are you? So very sleepy.
2. Where are you right now? I'm behind you.
3. What are you doing for the rest of today? Working and playing piano.
4. What's your favorite British show? Python. Still.
5. What's your favorite British swear word? C**t. It's horrible when Americans say it, but oddly endearing with a British accent.
6. Are you running out of ambitions? Haven't written a ballet yet, or directed a film, or known a woman sexually. So no.
7. Which is your favorite Western? Once Upon a Time in the West.
8. Which is your favorite science fiction movie? The Matrix.
9. Which is your favorite musical? My head just exploded, but The Bandwagon kicks ass.
10. Who is your favorite James Bond? Connery.
11. Who is your favorite Doctor Who? Oddly, Timothy Dalton.
12. Who's your favorite other person called Joss? Ackland! A Little Night Music, dude!
13. When were you drunk last? Now-ish.
14. Superman or Spiderman? Spidey.
15. Beatles or Stones? Beatles.
16. Is this the final season of Buffy? God, I hope so.
17. Is this the final season of Angel? No.
18. Is this the final season of Firefly? God, I hope not.
19. Who did you take to the prom? Didn't have one (self pity ...).
20. Are you spreading yourself too thinly, and is this a good thing? Yes, no, maybe.
21. What's your favorite biological function? Who doesn't love poo?
22. Who is your hero? I'm giving it up for Van Gogh. He produced epic shit with zero approbation. All about the work.
23. What would you do if all your shows ended tomorrow? A film. Also, a drunken party.
24. Which show do you enjoy writing the most? The one I'm writing now.
25. Which show do you enjoy directing the most? See above.
26. Which actor gives you them most backtalk? The one I fired.
27. Which writer never agrees with you? The one I killed and ate.
28. Which movie would you loved to have written? Revenge of the Jedi.
29. Which movie do you regret having any involvement in? Alien Resurrection.
30. How many hours of sleep do you get at night? 6-8.
31. What's the most irritating question a journalist have ever asked you? "Angel is a vampire?"
32. Which book would you recommend everybody should read? Abe, by Richard Slotkin, though it's very much an American thing.
33. Who is the most overlooked person on television? Alexis Denisof.
34. Who should be the most overlooked person on television? Regis.
35. Kirk or Picard? Well, Stewart, but yes, Kirk.
36. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you be? London, actually.
37. Has anyone ever come up to you and said "I loved you in The Shawshank Redemption?" Not nearly enough.
38. What's the worst part of making a television show? It never ends.
39. And what's the best? It's living theatre meets film--it's immediate.
40. What's the worst line of dialogue you've ever written? No clue.
41. And what's the best? "It's not the demon in me that needs killing-- it's the man." is up there.
42. Is the character of Wash in Firefly based on you? A bit.
43. Would you do Faith the Vampire Slayer if Eliza Dushku would commit to it? Sure.
44. Does it worry you that Spike is such a popular character--he's evil! So am I.
45. If you could do a crossover episode of Buffy, Angel, or Firefly with any other show, what would it be? The Simpsons.
46. What do you think of fan fiction: flattering or embarrassing? Lots 'o' both.
47. For budgetary reasons, you have to do a "clip" episode of Angel. How would you make it different from the norm? It would only be the clips of Wesley falling over.
48. What was your nickname in school? "Who are you again?"
49. If they did Buffy Big Brother, who would win? Never seen it.
50. Is Hamlet mad? If the person playing him gets there, yes.
51. Do you see the influence of Buffy on other shows (i.e., Smallville)? Sadly, yes.
52. Can I show you my script? Uh, show it to my people. I have people.
53. Who are the best people to hang out with--actors, writers, producers,
or directors? Actors and writers are the most neurotic, therefore the most fun.
54. How good are you in a fight? Let's not find out.
55. How many times have you been asked if you believe in vampires? Too many.
56. What's the best dessert in the world? Chocolate mousse.
57. Can you tell us a joke? My deal at Fox won't allow it.
58. Do you feel Saddam Hussein might become a better person if he watched Buffy? Couldn't hurt. Bush could use it, too.
59. What's the record that changed your life? Decade, the Neil Young compilation.
60. When was the last time you felt wide awake? Writing.
61. What's the best time of day. Just before Dawn.
62. Will you write and direct the very last episode of Buffy? Yup.
63. Given a choice, would you be a vampire and live forever? Probably, because I'm weak.
64. When Buffy ends, will any of the characters end up on Angel? Mebbe.
65. Do you think that the series would stand more chance at the Emmys with a different name? Buffy the Vampire Slayer, MD.
66. What scares you? People. And large insects.
67. How did you vote in the last election? Against that ass-wipe, thank you.
68. Are you afraid of Virginia Woolf? Well, who isn't?
69. Which was your favorite Golden Girl? Bea, dude! Bea!
70. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Punch Drunk Love.
71. What story will you never tell on Buffy, Angel, or Firefly? "Wow, smoking pot is wrong, I see that now!"
72. What are your pets called? Tok, Vinnie.
73. How long will we have to wait for Ripper? A while.
74. Do you believe in God? Not a jot.
75. Would John Wayne have been out of place in Firefly? He'd damn well have made a place for himself.
76. Have you played the Buffy computer game? No.
77. How big is your television? Big enough.
78. Have you ever broken the law? Mostly just kidnapping ...
79. Which car do you drive? Mine.
80. Were you at Sarah Michelle Gellar's wedding? No, but I was at her Bat Mitzvah. What are the odds?
81. Would you eat at Doublemeat Palace? Jesus, no! Okay.
82. Has anyone ever mentioned that the Serenity looks a bit like a plucked parrot? That was its original name. What are the odds?
83. Which is your favorite member of The Magnificent Seven? Yul!
84. Which show does your wife prefer, Buffy, Angel, or Firefly? Or won't she tell you? "They all fulfill a different need." she says.
85. Which show on U.S. TV at the moment do you love ... other than your own? There are other shows?
86. Who let the dogs out? Timothy Dalton. What are the odds?
87. How many series do you think you could run at once without exploding? Actually, only 2.
88. Can you speak Chinese? Nope. My wife can.
89. Can you ride a horse? If it's under me.
90. If you could write a song for any artist, who would you choose? After Sinatra, Jill Sobula.
91. Would YOU have survived Sunnydale High? Big no.
92. What's the thing you're proudest of in this world? Art and feminism; my little show that changed things.
93. What makes you happy? Work, Kai, my friends, more work.
94. What makes you sad? My chemical imbalance.
95. Do you find Benny Hill funny? I did in school--haven't seen him since.
96. Who put the bob in the bob sh-bop? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong? That was me, sorry.
97. Can you justify Twinkies to everyone in the UK? Dude, they never see an oven. They're science that's soft!
98. SFX is 100 issues old. Where do you want to be when you're 100? Standing.
99. Does the internet ever scare you? Often.
100. Are you pleased this questionnaire is over? Sweet muscular Jesus, I never thought I'd get through it. I mean, no.
Thanks to Janet for the transcription
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