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June 06, 2003
by Daniel Erenberg
Draw Us An Imaginary Line
I was just thinking. It's done. There were always episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer that I wanted to see, and now that it's all over, I know I never will. I thought I'd share a few of these ideas with you. In addition to this, I'll write in who I would have liked to see write these episodes. And who knows? Dark Horse publishes the comics. We may see these stories yet.
"Xander's Origin Story", written by Joss Whedon
If this story were ever told, it would most assuredly make my best ten episodes list. This episode would do for Xander what "Becoming Part One" did for Angel, what "Fool For Love" did for Spike, and what "Selfless" did for Anya. It would flesh out Alexander LaVelle Harris and give us some insight.
The character of Xander has always been very bottle-up-and-explode, so he's never really revealed any important facts about himself without coupling this fact with a sardonic comment.
I would love to see a Xander origin story loaded with flashbacks. We could learn more about his relationships with Willow and Jesse prior to Buffy's arrival, and we could get a bit more insight into that insane family of his.
The reason I'd have Joss write this is that he is the only writer that's ever really nailed Xander's voice, and I think this is evidenced by how perfect Xander was in "Chosen".
"Out Of Mind, Out Of Sight Part Two", written by David Fury
Come on! I've been waiting on this one for ages. How ridiculously cool would it be to see Buffy fighting an army of invisible assassins?
Clea DuVall would reprise her role as Marcie Ross, leading her invisible assassination squadron against the Scooby Gang in a knock down drag-out battle.
I'd have David Fury write and direct because he handled invisibility so well in his directorial debut "Gone". He would be great at writing the formerly depressed Marcie brutally killing people with glee.
"Elegy For Tara", written by Marti Noxon
We never really got a full episode where Willow grieved for Tara. We got the conversation with Cassie and the visit to the gravesite with Xander, but this didn't seem enough to me. Tara was her lover for two and a half years, and after only nine episodes, she was flirting with that tart Kennedy.
When Willow broke up with Oz, she moped around for episodes on end. Just look at her in every single scene she's in from "Wild At Heart" to "Something Blue". She's grieving the loss of her boyfriend who just left town harder than for her girlfriend who was just brutally murdered.
I'd have Marti write the episode because she's great at making Willow sad (see "Wild At Heart" and "New Moon Rising").
"Season Six/Season Three Buffy/Angel Crossover", written by David Greenwalt.
We really missed out on a crossover during season six. My reasons for wanting to have seen this are two-fold.
The first reason is that each show had a ridiculously depressed teenager of opposite genders. Dawn and Conner would have been PERFECT for each other. Both of them were going through sexual changes (Conner with the homeless girl in "A New World", and Dawn with the vampire in "All The Way"), and they would have been fascinated by one another. They could have had a long distance, brooding relationship. It would have made for a brilliant cross-show character arc.
The second reason is for Cordelia and Anya to meet up for the first time since season three. They've practically traded places. Both are now newly more compassionate, and, on top of these character changes, Anya is now Cordelia's ex-boyfriend's fiancée. Interesting also that Anya is no longer a demon and Cordelia now is. Strange stuff and compelling stuff.
"Helpless, Part Two", written by David Fury
Once upon a time, David Fury sold Joss Whedon on the idea of the Cruciamentum, a test created by the Watcher's Council to test the Slayer's resourcefulness by putting her up against a vampire?without her powers. Buffy went through the Cruciamentum in "Helpless", the twelfth episode of the third season.
But there is another Slayer, remember? I would love to see the Council attempt to put Faith through the Cruciamentum. It would have made a great late season three episode, and Quentin Travers would have gotten his ass whipped.
Someone write this fanfic!
"Summer Break", written by Jane Espenson
Maybe this would work better as a comic: a series of what was missed during those long summer breaks.
- Bitchy Buffy with her father in LA
- Buffy waitressing in LA and Nighthawk and the gang patrolling in
- Cordelia leaving for LA and the gang getting set for college. Not
to mention Xander's road trip/male stripping debacle
- The sudden emergence of Dawn, and Giles's continuing separation
from the group.
- The gang dealing with Buffy's death, and the BuffyBot running
the day-to-day slayage
- Willow's rehab in England with Giles and the coven, and Xander
rebuilding Sunnydale High School
I'd have Espenson do it because she's equally deft at writing depressing ("Earshot", "After Life") and funny ("Superstar", "Storyteller"). Plus, I'd love to see her write for Nighthawk.
That's that. These are a few of my ideas. Feel free to post your own on the bulletin board below.
And, finally, next week I'm doing an article called "FAQ2" and I NEED YOUR HELP!!! For those of you not acquainted with my original "FAQ", just e-mail me ANY questions you might have for me at email@example.com, and I will answer them in the article.
|Daniel Erenberg lives in a gothic-looking house in a suburb of Long Island shrouded by trees and darkness. His backyard is so overrun with shrubbery that he can't plant flowers in the soil. He's penned articles for numerous magazines (and a couple of websites for free). Currently, he's writing his first novel, entitled People That I've Long Since Forgotten. He's also written two plays, Little Room and Dystopia and a screenplay called Youth Or Consequence. He lives a fairly happy life alone and hankers constantly for the hour of eight P.M. to nine P.M. on Tuesday nights. You can contact Daniel on firstname.lastname@example.org.